The De-Evolution of Man

Sun, 11 Apr 2010 12:10:14 +0100

13.7 billion years ago approximately there was an almighty crash and bang and it was quite big, though no one can testify as to how loud this crash was. In fact how can we, as logical and as fair and impartial as we are made to be, put such a name on creation as the big bang!? This hideous name which involves the orgasm of life, particle, space, Starbucks and you, sound like the mistaken intercourse of a couple after one too many shots of the working man's chardonnay...the big bang...how more ghastly a name can one utter from one's tongue? Surely such a name was needlessly thought up by some Yankee in the 70's whilst flying high on some narcotic while staring at a Playboy centerfold while clutching his groin. Shame on him. I shall call him Cletus. I am astounded as to how this slack-jawed pleb from Yawville can create such ear rape and get away from it. No doubt he received an OBE from some higher power, he probably has a star on the Hollywood walk of fame and has gone out with Courtney Love and some other coked-up females of high society and there is a movie starring Billy-Bob Thornton and directed by some Hollywood newbie who has changed a genre of film for blah blah blah blah...this writers' indigestion is kicking in...

But how could Cletus have such an ego as to actually name the actual moment of conception of, well everything? Seriously, Cletus does not have an ego to call the god of the Catholic church a name, like Billy-Bob or Arthur, so again why put a name on the moment? Does Cletus have to be so arrogant that he feels we can put our stamp on every little moment, thing, place and person, copyrighting and owning everything to put our over-indulgent egos on cloud nine? For heavens sake, the big bang happened approximately 13.7 billion years ago. Mammalian life found its way onto Earth at a point which would not even be 1,000,000,000'th of a scratch on the surface of time, so how the hell can one man/woman (Cletus) have such an ego to have the audacity to name this moment of conception? If we do this, why not name every person's moment of conception. What shall mine be...'the big unplanned mix up following a night out at the Shelbourne Hotel'? Yes, from now on that is what i shall celebrate every April, not my birthday, heavens no! Instead i shall only celebrate this moment with the aforementioned title.

...it'll make for an interesting word change for the 'Happy Birthday' songfor me next April...quite wordy now aye?

thanks Cletus, you buffoon!

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The De-Evolution of Man